The Unbreakable Advantage
Most people are taught to overcome their past.
We’re here to prove it was never your weakness to begin with.
The Unbreakable Advantage is a leadership and performance podcast for those who have walked through adversity and came out sharper, not smaller. This is where lived experience becomes strategy. Where resilience becomes revenue. Where the parts of your story you were told to hide become the very thing that sets you apart.
Hosted by Misty Carson, this show is a raw, grounded look at what it actually takes to lead, sell, build, and rise when you’ve been forged under pressure. Through solo episodes and real conversations, we unpack the patterns most people miss, the beliefs that quietly sabotage growth, and the unseen strengths that trauma-forged individuals carry into every room.
This is not about motivation. It’s about recognition.
What you’ve been through didn’t set you back. It set you apart.
Your past may have shaped you, but it doesn’t get to define you.
Your strength is yours to claim.
What you do with it is yours to decide.
The Unbreakable Advantage
Surviving Attempted Murder | Turning Trauma into Strength with Heidi Damon
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
What happens when someone tries to take your life—but instead reveals the strength that was inside you all along?
Some stories are difficult to hear.
Others are impossible to forget.
In this powerful episode of The Unbreakable Advantage Podcast, Misty Carson sits down with Heidi Damon to share a story of unimaginable violence, extraordinary courage, and the decision that changed everything.
Heidi survived an attempted murder that could have ended her life.
Instead of allowing that moment to define her as a victim, she chose to become a victor.
Today, she’s using her voice to empower survivors, advocate for change, and remind others that what happened to them should never become who they are.
This conversation isn’t simply about surviving trauma.
It’s about reclaiming your identity.
It’s about finding your voice.
It’s about taking your power back.
And most importantly…
It’s about remembering that you have a name.
In This Episode
Misty and Heidi explore:
• Heidi’s life before the attack and the community she loved serving
• The nonprofit event that unknowingly became the backdrop to the day everything changed
• Surviving an attempted murder and waking up to a completely different reality
• The emotional impact of trauma after the distractions fade away
• Why first responders and medical professionals need more trauma-informed training
• The difference between being labeled a victim and choosing to become a victor
• How writing and speaking became part of Heidi’s healing journey
• The groundbreaking Victim Impact Statement that inspired survivors around the world
• Why identity should never be determined by your worst day
• The importance of surrounding yourself with people who add light instead of draining it
• Finding your eternal purpose through your greatest adversity
• Learning to remove limitations and step fully into the life you were created to live
More Than a Survivor
One of the most powerful themes throughout this episode is identity.
Heidi refuses to allow the worst thing that happened to her to become the first thing people know about her.
She isn’t an attack.
She isn’t a case file.
She isn’t a headline.
She is Heidi Damon.
That distinction changes everything.
Instead of allowing labels to define her, she chose to define the labels.
Instead of carrying shame, she carried courage.
Instead of hiding her story, she used it to help countless others find the strength to tell theirs.
The Power of Taking Your Voice Back
A defining moment in Heidi’s healing came during her sentencing hearing.
Standing in the courtroom, she chose to speak directly to the man who tried to take her life.
She wasn’t there seeking revenge.
She was reclaiming her power.
She reminded the courtroom—and herself—that she had a name, a life, a purpose, and a future.
While her attacker would forever be remembered by the crimes he committed…
She would be remembered for the life she chose to build afterward.
That single moment became one of the most powerful survivor impact statements ever shared publicly and inspired countless other survivors to find their own voices.
The Difference Between Victim and Victor
Throughout this conversation, Heidi shares why words matter.
She believes labels shape identity.
Calling someone a victim often keeps them tied to the worst moment of their life.
Calling someone a victor reminds them they survived it.
That simple shift changes how people see themselves.
And ultimately…
How they choose to move forward.
About Heidi Damon
Heidi Damon is a National Accounts leader, community advocate, future author, and aspiring international speaker.
Following a brutal attempted murder, Heidi made the courageous decision to speak publicly about her experience.
Since then, she has inspired survivors across the country to reclaim their voices, confront shame, and understand that trauma does not define their worth.
Her mission is simple:
To help people move from surviving…
To living.
Powerful Lessons from This Episode
You have a choice.
You cannot always control what happens to you.
You can always choose what happens next.
Perspective changes everything.
Sometimes life redirects us because something greater is waiting in a different direction.
Pain has purpose.
Healing begins when we stop asking,
“Why did this happen?”
and begin asking,
“What can I build because of it?”
Your words matter.
The way you speak to yourself becomes the way you experience your life.
Community matters.
The people around you either expand your future or shrink it.
Choose wisely.
Favorite Quotes
“I have a name.”
“Things that happen to you do not define you. You define them.”
“Don’t let someone else’s actions become your identity.”
“You don’t have baggage. You have lessons.”
“Life isn’t happening to you. Sometimes it’s redirecting you.”
“You are allowed to be loud.”
“Your story is not your label.”
“You are not broken. You were being built.”
Resources & Topics Mentioned
• Trauma recovery
• Victim Impact Statements
• Post-traumatic growth
• Writing as a healing practice
• Resilience
• Identity after trauma
• Perspective and mindset
• Emotional healing
• Community support
• Purpose after adversity
About The Unbreakable Advantage
Every episode of The Unbreakable Advantage Podcast is built around one powerful belief:
Pressure doesn’t destroy us.
It reveals us.
The experiences that nearly broke you may also be the very experiences preparing you for your greatest impact.
When we stop hiding our stories…
When we stop apologizing for what we’ve survived…
When we begin recognizing the strength adversity built inside us…
Everything changes.
Connect with Heidi Damon
Follow Heidi Damon on Facebook at Heidi Damon Victor to learn more about her mission, connect with her story, and follow her upcoming work as an author and speaker.
If Heidi’s story encouraged you, consider sharing this episode with someone who needs the reminder that healing is possible and that their voice matters.
Continue Your Own Journey
If this episode resonated with you…
🌿 Take the Pressure Assessment to discover how pressure has shaped your greatest strengths.
🎙️ Subscribe to The Unbreakable Advantage Podcast for weekly conversations on resilience, leadership, adversity, and post-traumatic growth.
📖 Follow the journey of Misty’s upcoming book, The Unbreakable Advantage: How to Turn Your Survivor Story into Success.
💛 Connect with Misty Carson on LinkedIn and Instagram for weekly insights and practical tools to help you transform adversity into your greatest advantage.
Visit www.unbreakableadvantage.com to learn more about speaking engagements, leadership programs, workshops, and resources designed to help individuals and organizations lead under pressure.
Final Thought
Someone else’s decision should never determine the rest of your life.
Your past may explain your story.
It should never limit your future.
Because the greatest victory isn’t simply surviving what tried to break you.
It’s becoming someone who helps others believe they can rise too.
We were not broken. We were being built.
So my guest today survived something no one should ever have to. She walked out not as a victim, but as a victor. So Heidi Damon is a national accounts leader, a longtime giver to her community, and a woman on her way to becoming an author and an international speaker. She came through an attack that could have ended her. And instead of letting it define her as broken, she let it reveal how strong she truly is. Today she uses her voice so that other survivors will stop hiding and start speaking. So I'm super happy to have you. Thank you for having me. Just like all my other guests, I made friends with you first. Yes. Friends first. Yes, friends first and friends forever. Yes. We talk about vacationing together. Sister friends. Sister friends. Thank you so much for the gift. It was beautiful. You're welcome. Definitely love it.
SPEAKER_01Well, you're a gift. Oh so I had to give something back. It's so nice.
SPEAKER_00So before we get to the day that changed everything, I want people to know who you were before, before the event that got you to where you are and how you want to give back now.
SPEAKER_01The person I was before was a very carefree um, you know, girl from the Midwest, uh, very social, loved events, still do. Um, but really just love immersing myself in every day. Um, every day is a gift, as they say. And I was thriving, you know, in what I was doing. And I had come to Tampa in 08, and uh, you know, I was excited, you know, for new possibilities.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um never really had anything major happen to me. I've had a really beautiful, blessed life. Um, didn't come from money when I was a child, but I was very rich in love and affection and attention and have always really surrounded myself with great people. And I think that that's really what's carried me through life. So that's really who I was, you know.
SPEAKER_00It's so interesting because so many people, and I think this happens to a lot of us. You either had difficulties, and I know you said you weren't rich you were rich in love, and you talked a lot about your grand your grandfather, and I and I love that when we got to know each other. But sometimes people's adversity comes unexpected, out of the blue, like yours did. Wasn't I mean, couldn't have couldn't have scripted that, right? Like as a book, as a movie, and we'll get into that in just a minute. So people need to understand that you can have all those things and then life can still happen to you. Um, but then to your point, what do you do with it, right? Do you become a victim or you do become a victor? And that's a choice, right? So, and then not only that, but are you willing to put yourself out there and help other people do the same? And that's what you and that's what you're building now. So talk to us and the listeners about that day, about the nonprofit event that you had put on, um, the um the moment in the parking garage, what that looked like, and then what that spurred after.
SPEAKER_01So I was really excited because my mind works in mysterious ways sometimes, and I got the idea to have an only, you know, children's charity event. And as you know, we have Pinellas and we have Hillsborough and that big concrete bridge, you know, between the two. And people always, you know, have concerns oh, I have to go all the way to Pinellas or I have to go all the way to Hillsborough.
SPEAKER_00I have to drive over the bridge. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So I called it Pillsboro. Which is awesome. Yeah, bridging the gap. And it was an event that I came up with. I'm like, how about September 9th of 09? So 9909, nine children's charities. And I was really bored with a lot of business events because they're the same thing, different day, different venue, same chicken, you know, different speakers. Um, but you walk away saying, Was that worth my time? Was that worth my money? So I just really want it all out. And I asked my boss at the time, I said, Can I put on an event where it doesn't have to do as much with business, but bringing the community together? And we happen to be the main sponsor for it. He said, Of course. So it took about a year to plan out actually, and I decided to get uh children's charities from both sides of the bridge from Pinellas and Hillsborough. I had it at the Double Tree that's now, you know, not there anymore, but they had just done $13 million worth of uh renovations to it. Ryan Neys uh did the 501c3 part for me because I'm not a 501 uh uh C3 uh you know organization. I said, you know, I'm gonna have the Black Honkies play, which they're a great group. A lot of people know who they are. Uh James uh Jim Dean, I think his name is, um, or no, Ed Dean, sorry. Uh Frank Sinatra, I had uh two photo booths, I had a weekend giveaway at the Don Cesar. So cool. Um, I had all the mascots. So I had Buzz from the Lightning, I had Raymond from the race, I had Bucks Cheerleaders, I had an alligator from the aquarium, and I'm just like, we're gonna make this so much fun and more about bringing people together for the right reason. And I had, you know, just everything planned. I even had a signature drink, you know, just every little detail. And so I was really excited. And I was at work and my boss just really let me focus on that because at the time I was business development, you know, really trying to brand us, get us out there. So it happened that day, uh, during the day, and I went to my car for a business card of the printer that I was using, and I was on my phone. Yeah, I had it right up to my face, and just on top of the world, here I had only been in Tampa not even a year. Yeah. And I had all these people coming, I had about 200 people, and it was I had a PR person, photographer, it was great. And uh all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I felt someone grab me from behind, and I literally thought I was gonna be put in a white van. Yeah. Like that's how fast my mind was working. And all I remember is saying, you know, please don't hurt me. And I just I heard myself like losing air. And the next thing I knew, I was waking up in my car face down, um, saying, Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. And you know, there was a pool of blood under my face, and I still wasn't grasping what was happening. I get out of the car, I see him walk away, and I just knew it was him. I knew it was him. And so I was, you know, naked from the waist down, had my jewelry on still, and uh I, you know, had a blanket, towel in my trunk because I'm like really prepared. Like a Girl Scout. Yes. And uh, so I get a towel from my trunk, and not really comprehending what had happened, um, I look for my phone, I look for my key, I couldn't find it. So I go down towards my office, and the security guard said, Well, I think, you know, there's someone in the bathroom, you know, that might be that person. I'm like, no, I don't think so. So I looked, it wasn't him, went to my office. Now I had not known what I looked like at the time, but my boss, when I got in the office and said, you know, Kevin, I, you know, was just attacked, and he's like, Oh my god, like he just looked at me. And so my coworker, she had been the one that called the police because she thought that I had been punched. And so I go back to my car because I'm so methodical. I go back to my car looking for my keys, looking for my phone. I see my underwear and my pants on the ground, throw it back in the car because I'm like, oh, well, I don't want people seeing that. You know, that's how I think of course, yeah. Yeah. And uh, so then the police officer, she starts asking me questions. And now it's August 19th. It's very hot in Tampa, very hot. And all of a sudden, I started feeling nauseous because what I didn't know is I had had a seizure because I had been choked out. So I start sitting on the ground and she's like, no, no, you know, sit in the car. But it's a V8 engine, so it's like super hot. Yes. And so finally I get out of there, I let myself into the ambulance. She comes over, asks me the same questions. Now things are starting to unravel in the way of I'm understanding my symptoms because my tongue was starting to hurt, and that's because I bit my tongue when I had the seizure. So when she was asking me all these questions, I was like, okay, you have to stop asking me questions and just listen to my answers, right? Yeah. So then uh Chris Ann came and I said, please find my phone. So she comes over to the ambulance with my phone. I wind up calling uh like four people uh on my list of people to call. And I actually called my friend Jamie. I had happy hour with her that day. And I literally matter of fact said, Jamie, I can't make happy hour because I just got attacked in the garage. I'll call you later. It was so matter of fact. But I'm I'm one of those people that I I've always been that way. Like I don't freak out. And um, so I called those people. Uh, the police officer gave me something for the pain of my tongue, and I go to the hospital. And I'm in the hospital, and you know, they're doing all these uh, you know, probing and testing and whatever. And, you know, I find out, of course, you know, of course, I'm happy that I was not raped. That that was the first blessing. And uh the doctor looked at me though, and he said, you know, this is really a miracle because if you would have been choked any longer, you probably would not be here. He said, 20 to 30 seconds more, you would not be here. So I didn't realize this, but I used the restroom before I left the hospital. And I it looked like I had measles all over my face. Yeah. Well, that's patachiae. And my eyes were also bloodshot, and I had blood coming from my nose. I'm thinking someone could have at least fixed me up.
SPEAKER_00You know, I love that as a woman. I'm right.
SPEAKER_01Like, could you at least like help me out a little bit?
SPEAKER_00But tell me I have to put on my hello.
SPEAKER_01And um, so all of this, you know, had happened. So when and kind of backing up a little bit, they found the guy that attacked me. And they said, We found him. Would you mind IDing him? And I said, Not at all. And I said, It as long as the lights off, because I don't want him to see my face. Yes. Because at the time, like, you know, you haven't grasped everything, you haven't let everything settle in. Yeah. It's not like this happens, you know, all the time to practice, right? And so I ID'd him, and uh, you know, he was sent off to jail. And uh I left, and actually, what's really eerie is I was told that when I left the hospital, one of the police officers that had worked my case that day was shot at a um routine like traffic stop. Um, and he was actually brought in. He did not survive. So that was a very eerie fact for me. Um, so that was three weeks before my event. So I'm focusing on my event at this point, right? I had gone, you know, uh away for the weekend, and uh I was dating someone at the time. They're like, let's get away. So we went to Cedar Q's, like relaxing, and still didn't break down and cry, you know, was focused on my event. And uh, so get to the event, uh, my eyes were obviously very sensitive. And I had done an interview actually uh with uh Lissette Campos and told her, like, I have pink eye. Um, why don't you, you know, have me sit to the side and interview the child, uh, you know, charity uh instead. So she did. And uh so at any rate, um went to my event. It was very overwhelming because I had not been around people. Um, a lot of people didn't know.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Uh some people looked at my eyes and were wondering like what happened. I just told them I had pink eye. And uh, but we got through it. It was a successful event, it was really fun. And uh about two days after that, I broke down and cried because I didn't have anything distracting me anymore. That's right. And everything kind of caught up. And now I have this free time to be like, wow, what just happened? So I called. Actually, it's interesting. I called one person and uh it was actually the person I was dating, and I said, You know, I really feel like crying today. I'm really feeling sad. This is not like me. I'm not a that kind of person. And he said, Oh, you're successful and you're smart and you're beautiful, you'll get through this. And so he pushed what I was feeling away. Like, don't feel that, you know. But then I called my friend Tammy and I said, Tammy, like I'm really feeling like dread right now. And she started talking to me, and I just like burst like a water balloon, and it felt great. Yes, because I finally got that out, out, yeah, exactly. Because it sticks in you like poison. It did, and uh you know, I was really mad actually. I wasn't uh even when it happened, like why me? Why did this happen? Um, I was pissed. I was like, How dare you do this? You know. Um, but yeah, so that was like the event um after the event, and uh, you know, how I felt after. And I actually went back to work the next Monday and I had sunglasses on because I had pataki eye, which makes your eyes real uh sensitive. And um my boss is like, why don't you just take some time off? I'm like, I really don't need to. He's like, No, take some time off. I'm like, okay. So I took, you know, some time off and you know, kind of took time to myself to process everything.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you know. It's interesting what you said, like you called the friend and they let you unload, and then the other person is like, no, no, let me tell you all the reasons why you shouldn't have emotions about this. Right. So for everyone who is listening, like sometimes people just need you to listen. Like, so when they call you and they're saying to you, like you did, I filled with dread. And it I understand the distraction, I will do the same. I talk about compartmentalizing and I'll put all my shit in a box and I'll like leave it outside, and then I'll go like head, I'll dive head in. Yeah, I'll find something right to create or do. Absolutely. But it also is important to be able to have a safe space and for people to receive, even if it makes them uncomfortable. Yes. Like, because we need that. Agree. And we need to be allowed to have all of the ranges. Just because you're mostly strong or strong 99% of the time, doesn't mean you're not allowed to have the one percent and you can't go all out like balls to the wall wailing if that's what you need.
SPEAKER_01Oh, it's true. And even even at the site um where the attack happened, it would have been very useful for the police to have been trained to one person designated to are you okay? What can I do for you? Yes. You know, I know this has happened to you and this is what's going on. Someone to make me feel that I wasn't kind of like up here looking down at the situation, right? Yes. And uh, I mean, I let myself in the ambulance, if that tells you anything.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, which is insane. You talked to me.
SPEAKER_01I wanted to be cool. Yes, I wanted to be comfortable.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you talked to me about that too when uh you and I had coffee together. You said you literally put yourself in the ambulance, and I love that you took control. And I I would like to think that I'd be very similar to that because I like to control what I can control as well.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00And I'm a take charge kind of person too, because that's the only way I feel like I I can have control right over what's going on. But I agree, and I love that one of the things that you're working on, and that's so important to you, is that you do want to teach those first responders how to have empathy and to not get caught up. Like I understand that time is important and they gotta find the guy and like all the stuff. Of course. But you also have to treat us like people. We're not robots. It didn't happen to a brick wall, it didn't happen to that vase sitting over there. It happened to a human.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00A real person who has feelings and emotions and is processing. And is going through trauma. Yes, right. Processing. Of course. Like you said earlier, there's no roadmap for this. It's not like this is it's not like this is every Tuesday for you. Correct. Right? Thank God. Right. But there's no you don't have anything in your brain to know what to do or how to feel. Yeah. And so somebody who has seen this on a regular basis needs to have a toolbox to have those conversations and lead you through it effectively.
SPEAKER_01So I haven't talked to the, you know, police departments yet about that, but I would absolutely love, you know, someone to call Emmy and say, look, we would love for you to talk to, you know, our force and help us understand what you go through in that process so we can better help you through that process.
SPEAKER_00Well, hopefully somebody's listening and then they will reach out to you. Or they know somebody or their spouse is on the department, or they have a cousin, uncle, grandfather, sister, niece, nephew, whoever that is. Because I agree. Um, I don't think that we handle people who have been through. I mean, he tried to murder you. That was his intent. Oh, sure. And he obviously also was going to try to rape you. Otherwise, what was the point of taking off your clothes, right? So that's a lot for somebody to sit with. And somebody who's never been through any kind of abuse like that, especially brand new feeling for you. Right. Absolutely. Never existed in your body before. Absolutely. That needs to be handled with care and respect.
SPEAKER_01And he got first degree attempted murder because I pretended to be out and then he choked me harder. So I knew I was in trouble. Yeah. Right. And I always say, by the grace of God, I passed out. Yeah. My guardian angel woke me up.
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01So I could see him walk away.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because imagine if you wouldn't have seen him. Right. They would have never found this person. Correct. And the next time he did it, because there would have been a next time, he probably would have been successful. Yes. And then somebody would have lost a daughter, a mother, a sister, agree. A friend. Agree. Right? So which is terrifying. Agree. Yeah. And I love what you're doing with it. So you said in the uh our conversation that that day taught you who you are more than you knew and understood about yourself before. Who did you discover you were?
SPEAKER_01I discovered my true strength. Because through life we just do what we do. We just get through the day. We don't think about, well, I'm really strong, so I'm gonna do this. Yes. We just do life, right? God gives us a toolbox, and sometimes we don't even use those tools until we really need them, right? And I was kind of was curious, you know, what some of the tools were, so to speak. And I discovered what those tools were after that had happened because the fact that I took charge under so much pressure and stress and unknown that was one thing I learned. How I really truly handle pressure and stress. Number two, how I really feel about myself, that through life things have happened, but I've never thought of myself as a victim. I've never thought of myself as, oh poor me. I'm just not that person. So I learned that as well. I also learned that that talk that my grandpa had with me when I was nine years old. He knew that I'd probably need that talk at some point. And when I stood up and actually, you know, ID'd him and that I was mad that it happened, that I knew that it wasn't my fault. Like, how dare you? That was also given to me by my grandpa because he instilled in me, like, if someone tries to hurt you, you protect yourself, right? And although I couldn't protect myself completely, thank goodness God's in my life and my guardian angel, I, you know, still look back at this day and say, if I was not raised with the people in my life that I was, I don't know that I could have handled it the way that I did.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But I had enough confidence to say that was wrong, and this is why.
SPEAKER_00I really appreciate what you said, and I love that your grandpa did that for you because when we were growing up, especially that time, that time just our culture during those years and decades when we were growing up, we were taught that if those things happened to us, they were partially our fault. We shouldn't have been where we were by ourselves. We shouldn't have been drinking, we shouldn't have been dressed that way, we shouldn't have said the things that we said, we shouldn't have like it was always you were never blameless in your um in what had happened to you. At least that's what I was taught when I was growing up. Like that's what culture, society told us, right? It's in the movies, it's Every time a rape happens on a college campus, they're like, Well, why were you drinking alone? Yeah. Why did you not cover up your it's like, no, bullshit. Right. Like people aren't allowed to just take things from you. Correct. And it's but so many people have that. So there's this shame around it. There are women out there this would have happened to who wouldn't have even called the police. Right. They literally would have just put their stuff back on, drove themselves to an urgent care, and just never told a single soul what happened. And you did the exact opposite. Not only did you take control, but you advocated for yourself, which I definitely want to get into. So you learned, like you said, how strong-minded you were. Um, and that strength showed up, but you refuse the word victim, which I love. You call survivors victors. Absolutely. Yes. And why does that one word matter so much to you?
SPEAKER_01Because I think labels mean so much. We're in a world of labels, whether it's Pepsi Cola, whether it's, you know, Gordon's food, whether it's, you know, Google, you know, we're all about names, brands, labels. And I have always been a true believer that when you label someone, you don't know really what you're doing to their psyche. Yes. When you say someone has baggage, that's a dreadful label. Yes. Um, when you're pigeon, you know, pigeoning someone into a particular label, like, oh, they're a victim. Well, you don't know who that person is. So when I, you know, essentially said, I'm not a victim, I am a victor and really believed it, I I didn't want someone feeling bad for me. I got through this. I I would feel more bad for the guy that put himself in jail because he'll always have that label. Um and I know that there are some people out there that things have happened to them and they can't necessarily climb out of that hole. I get that. But I wasn't going to be that person that didn't stand up and say, No, I'm not gonna be put in that label category. And you know, when other people had read my story or you know, saw the interviews, I I got a a lot of phone calls saying, Will you talk to this person, that person? And it's interesting because people are you know would say, you know, I wish I could do that. Well, you can. And then I would give them ways of doing it. And they were like, I didn't even think of that. Yes. So a lot of times people just don't know what tools they have. And sometimes you just gotta guide them. And you know, that day I was not going to, you know, be looked at as like, oh poor you, that happened. No, I was as I said, pissed.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah, don't feel bad for me. Yeah, I don't I don't want people's pity either. No, like that really bothers me. It's like no, I don't need the pity. I need you to understand that A, those things happen to people, B, we're allowed to talk about it, and C that you can still build a beautiful life, not only in spite of it, but sometimes because of it. Like those things give you unique skills and strengths, and now understanding how to use those. Like that's super important to me as well. I agree about the labels, not even just our brand labels, but people who have been abused, uh, domestic violence, people who have been raped, people who have had child abuse, uh, people who were maybe defiant when they were younger, or they were addicts and they've overcome. We label them as addicts, or we label them as broken, yes, as used, yes, damaged. And it's terrible. Like nobody wants to have that, right? And I love that you're like, no, no. We're gonna talk about what it gave me, who I am as a person, not this one event that did these things to me.
SPEAKER_01Right. I already have a name, I don't need a label. Exactly. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you're heiding. My name's Heidi Damon.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, exactly. And you better remember it. And you better remember that. That's right. I love it. I love it. So you want your story to help others stop being afraid to speak out. Yes. And I I definitely want to talk about your victim impact statement. So, what did speaking out cost you and what did it give back?
SPEAKER_01I don't think speaking out cost me anything because I really didn't give up anything. I gained tenfold because when I spoke out, it actually gave me space to articulate my thoughts that I hadn't put out there. And I've written poetry ever since I was young. So I've always been a believer that when you write things down and when you speak them, they really take on a whole new meaning and have a lot of weight to them. That I felt that, and no one coached me on the impact statement. They just said, Well, if you want to address him, you can. Of course I do. Yes. So the night before, I literally wrote down bullet points. Just literally, sometimes a word, sometimes just a couple of words. And because I knew that I would be in a circumstance where I didn't know if I would fumble or I'd kind of go sideways or you know, lose track. I tend to do that sometimes when I'm like on a tangent. Yeah. So I'm like, I gotta, you know, reel myself in. Yeah. So when I got up there, because I had seen him previously in court, that was a preliminary. We're gonna go to court in a couple weeks. Okay. So that morning I got dressed, you know, had my impact statement. And when I saw him at first, I was like, oh, you know, this is like a lot. Yeah, it's and what I did do, which is a little unique, is I addressed the judge because I also have seen so many cases where people are a number or they're a Jane Doe. Yes, or a John Doe. Because this happens to men too and boys. Absolutely. So it was really important for me to address the judge, telling him who I was, how I contributed, that I had a life before this happened, that this is not gonna define me, but I want you to understand the weight of the situation on the person that I am. And then I changed gears, which was kind of an awkward pivot. So I went from talking to the judge to talking to the monster that tried to kill me. Yes. And the first opening thing that I said is I woke up ecstatic today, happier than ever. Do you know why? And I banged on Judge Thorpe's desk and I'm like, because I'm alive, alive, alive. You could hear dust falling in that courtroom. And from that moment on, I was in control. And previous to that, I didn't really have control because my thoughts were all over the place. Yeah. And I didn't know how it was gonna go. And I hadn't articulated everything except for on paper. So I think I think I gained a lot through writing down and actually saying my impact statement. And I took my power back.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Which is so important. Yes. What you learned after that you would share with me. First, I want the listeners to understand that the time that went by between the event and when you actually got to have your victim statement, give your your victim impact statement. And I know you hate that they call it that, but that's the impact statement. The victor. The victor impact statement was a significant amount of time.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Like about a year and a half. That's a long time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Uh actually about a year-ish. Because it happened August 09, and that happened December 2010. So a little bit of a time.
SPEAKER_00The other thing that we talked about when we had met that I would love the listeners to know as well, you were the first person to on record, on video, to address their perpetrator f straight at them. Yes. And to state your name. Yes. So talk a little bit about that.
SPEAKER_01So it's interesting because in past I've always seen you know, someone's dad, brother, sister, friend speak for them for various reasons. And again, my grandpa, you know, instilled in me, you stick up for yourself. And so when I addressed him, I said, you know, what I told you I said, but then I said, and you're gonna look at me when I addressed you.
SPEAKER_00And that felt good. Talk about the ultimate power move. Yes. It's like you're gonna look me in the space. This person you tried to murder, yes, do not look down like you're looking at me.
SPEAKER_01And none of it was scripted, none of it was thought of. It really, you know, I believe in organically speaking, because emotion plays a lot into what you say, right? Fact of how you feel, but also how you're feeling at that very moment. So when I told him you're gonna look at me when I speak to you, he did look at me. And when you see the impact statement, you know, they don't show the face of the person that got attacked for protection. That's just what they do. So it looks like he's looking away, but he's not. He's actually looking right at me. And so when I finally got to speak to him and say, you know, I helped build my community, you helped decay yours. Um, you're a boy. Uh I know this because a man would have never done what you did. And what used to be 285 pounds are gonna love you in jail. Um, I meant all of that. Yes. Because I had seen for years so many people not being able to stick up for themselves that I'm like, I have this opportunity. I'm gonna stick up for myself. This is what I was taught to do. I didn't, I just didn't know the impact of what it would have in the grand scheme of things. I just thought I was going there to address my attacker. And so at the end, and you know, I had just said all kinds of things, but at the very end, I had stopped talking, thought I was done. And everyone was, you know, rustling their papers and whatnot. I'm like, wait, I do have one more thing. And everyone's like, oh boy, she has one more thing. Heidi's never done. She always has one more thing to say. Yeah. Because that's how my mind works. And I looked at him and I said, My name is Heidi Elizabeth Damon. I have a name. I have a name that will go on forever. Your name is the crimes you've committed. Your name is sex offender, attempted murderer. Nice to put you away. Ugh. And then I was done. Pin drop. And then I heard on the video just breathing like I feel much better. I literally said that. Oh it was unbelievable. So it's interesting too. What I also learned through all this is how much we really hold in. Yes. And we forget to breathe. Yes. And we think we're okay. But then once we really let it out, it's like, oh, yeah. Now I'm okay.
SPEAKER_00I feel like we hide those things deep in or we bury them in deep because we're taught that these aren't things we talk about, or this is the way it's always been, the way the impact statements have always been done. It takes brave people, people who are willing to buck a system, people who are willing to say bullshit. Like, no, you're gonna listen to me to open up the doors in the space because there's so many people who want to do that. Oh, yeah, but just don't know or don't have um somebody to look up to who's already done those things before. There's always got to be that pioneer. Yeah. And you were the pioneer in the space. You got to, I mean, you did a whole gamut tour. You were on all the shows, right? New York had you up and down. Yeah. Every Dr. Phil, right? Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew. Yeah. Yeah. Tamron Hall, right? And then also uh the Today Show or yes. And third edition. Yes. And then somebody even from a whole nother continent calling you to have you on. Chantel. Chantal, yes. But that allowed other people, and I agree, not just women, because men go through this as well.
SPEAKER_01They do.
SPEAKER_00Uh other people to see, oh, holy shit, I don't have to fall into line. You're right. They should have treated me better when they were asking me questions. Like I get to say these things because this is m this matters. I'm important, right? This is important. I'm not just some case file number. I am my name. Yes. And this happened to me. Yes. Right? So, and I'm allowed to state my piece. And that's what you're really building now. Yeah. Right? It's giving people permission.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Well, and and also that things that happen to you don't define you. Yes. You define them. That's right. There's a big difference. Huge. You know, it's one thing to have something happen, good or bad, but that still shouldn't define who you are. I agree. You should process it and then define it, and then give it out to the world.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01However you find fit.
SPEAKER_00It's really interesting that you say that because we do it also for the positive thing sometimes too, and then people get stuck, right? So maybe you're an all-star athlete, or maybe you're a pro athlete. I've seen this happen before as well. And you get a career-ending injury, and because you attached all of your value to that label of who you are, it's really difficult for you to get your motor moving again and get back into the groove of life and figure out what that new iteration of you is going to be. Yes. So having that be something that is a skill you have, but not who you are as an innate human being makes a very big difference. Yes. I'm a firm believer that perspective is everything.
SPEAKER_01It is everything. And and not to say that I didn't have some days where I just didn't feel like doing as much as I normally did. Yes. Um, another thing it really taught me too is I was going to so many events to where I was literally like a Tampa socialite. I was at everything. And it really helped me take a step back and say, why am I doing all this stuff? Why am I buying a dress at Saxfield Avenue once a month? Yeah. Why? Yeah. Is it is it really rewarding? Is it am I really getting something from it that really makes me feel better? And it didn't. Yeah. So I pulled back on that. Not because, oh, I didn't feel like going out. I just valued my time differently.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Right? You got very clear on your priorities. Very. Yeah. So priority clarity is a huge thing that I talk about as well. When you go through things that are traumatic, it is almost like looking at your life through a different lens, and you start to figure out and discern what's noise and what matters. And not always do we listen. Sometimes we still fill our lives with the noise for one reason or another. But I was just talking before this with Tanya. I feel the same. I I just dove into everything because I wanted to help everybody. So I'm getting pulled like putty in like a thousand different directions right now. And I really need to sit with myself and get clear about where do I have the most impact and what lights up my soul the most because I can't continue to run at this pace and and do it all. So I need to pick the things where I'm not just showing up just to show up, but actually my voice matters, my impact matters, my reach matters, because I at the end of the day, it's the impact you want to make. True. Right. So it's not, I mean, I can network people all day, but sure. But I for to what end? Quality over quantity.
SPEAKER_01I agree. You know, you never want to lose yourself in what you're doing. So make sure that you're doing it to the quality in which you want to, that you're conveying who you really are through what you're doing. Yes. And you're doing it with intention and purpose and not just to do it. Yes. And I think a lot of people try to just take on so much and then you compromise who you are, and people are like, Well, she's not that great. Yeah. Like she even followed through on that because you took too much on. Yes. You know, so your bandw your bandwidth is only so big. Stay within your bandwidth. Yes. And sometimes you have to let go of something in your bandwidth to make room for something better. And that's called growth.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Right? Yes. A hundred percent. I also think for me, I have really been focusing on who I surround myself with as well. So I have found myself, once again, in my life, pushing or purging my life of not completely, but definitely moving them to, you know, less frequency and I and attracting or connecting with women who have similar or like-minded impact or purpose. Because the older I get, the more I realize it's not just about I mean, I definitely want to have fun with you too. We were talking about going on vacation. Yeah, right. I have to like you also. Like, but I want you to be aligned with caring about humanity and doing something that's bigger than you. Like, that's the circle. That's my inner circle. Yes. Like that's what I want. And before I wasn't as discerning about that. True. And to keep learning to your point and growing.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. Well, you know, they say be the be the not so sm not the smartest person in that room. And I've always been told I have a big personality. I love it though. And to that I say, if the room's too small, go to a bigger room. That's right. Right? Yes. But surround yourself with people that give off that energy of determination, success, confidence, being humble, you know, doing things with intent, being down to earth. You know, the world has a lot of superficial people. Yes, it does. Um, you know, what kind of car do you drive? What kind of, you know, shoes do you wear? And you know, how much money do you make a year? That's not the room I want to be in.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I want to be in the room that people actually make me feel good. Kind of like that house that you walk into and you're just like, gosh, I feel like I'm home.
SPEAKER_00Yes, they're so cozy. Yes. I know exactly what you mean. Yeah. Yes. Pick people that are cozy. Yes, that matters. Yes. Yes, cozy and also together. Like I feel like if you could take all the little, this is how I look at my circle. If you could create this battery pack and each individual person that I have curated in my life and that I keep close is its own battery. If we all plug into this battery pack, how big of a splash can we be? Oh, yeah. How bright can our light be together? Like that is super important to me as well as I continue to just move through the world. So it's true. Yeah. And you're definitely a beautiful, bright battery. Thank you. Yes.
SPEAKER_01It's funny because um my friends all know that I am the analogy queen, and I always say the beacon. Yes. So uh there's bumpers and beacons in the world. Can I tell you what my beacon is? I want to hear it. Yes. So in life, things happen that you don't always want to happen. And when it happens, you're like, oh, I didn't get that job. Oh, that guy didn't want to date me. Oh, darn, that restaurant was closed. But what happens? You go in a different direction, and then when that restaurant was closed, you go to a different one and you bump into your best friend from first grade. Yes. Or you don't date that person, you're like, oh my gosh, thank God I didn't date them. Because five years later, you're with someone wonderful. Yes. You know, so all the things that happen in your life that aren't so great, you should actually be grateful for because you know something's going to happen differently because that's pushing you in a direction that you normally wouldn't go. Yes. It's uncomfortable. But that's where you do a lot of growth. That's where you do a lot of change. So the beacons are the people like you and I, like Bridget. The people that as soon as you meet them, they are a bright light. And you are like, oh my gosh, I know you. Yes. Because I know see you. Yes. When we sat down, I mean instantly. Yes. When we saw each other in Starbucks, we you know, sat down. And it was instant. Agree. It was as if I was with someone cov cozy, right? Comfy cozy that I had known so many years before. So when you see a beacon, you know, and you put them all in a room, that's a really bright room. Yes. It's beautiful. So all of my column sister friends are beacons. I want the room to be bright. Yes. I don't want it to be dimmed by, oh, poor me, or oh, I don't know what I'm gonna do. You know, so very similar to the battery pack. You know, maybe we can use the battery pack and the beacons and yes, and just like this muff-up. Right. Yeah, let it come up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, exactly. It's future so bright, we have to wear shades. Yes, yeah, I love that. Yeah. It's so interesting. I always say to people that I'm like, okay, well, for instance, just the other morning, I somebody tried to steal my phone number. They were trying to port my thing. They got in, they did this stuff. I was getting hacked. They tried to open up a chime, they tried to get in my Fidelity investments. It was like six, seven hours of my morning. I had like 30 phone calls, people trying to get this code. This is not the first time I've been hacked this year. Um, but I was like, you know what? I handled it. I caught it on time. This is happening for me. This is not happening to me. Me. Right. I don't know what the lesson is yet, but I know a lesson is to come. And maybe I would have done something different that morning that would have frustrated me or would have hurt me in some way. Um, maybe it forced me to do things like changing my passwords that I needed to do. Like whatever. It doesn't really matter like what the thing is, but all morning long I'm like, okay, I'm gonna handle this. Yes, it's frustrating, but there's a purpose to this. Yes. Like everything has a purpose.
SPEAKER_01Everything.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. You just need to be able to believe it.
SPEAKER_01Yes. So I've actually started thinking when something doesn't work out, I think it. That's powerful. Thank you for giving me that wake-up call, like that's just not for me. Yes. So I go on to something else.
SPEAKER_00Yes. It happens all the time. In the book Worthy, she says that God hid my value from this person or this thing because it was not meant for me. And same idea we're talking about now, but I was like, if you could just live by that principle, you would feel so much better about just understanding what's coming is better than what's behind you. And don't settle. Yes. Oh yeah. That's that bandwidth. Yes. I only have so much time. The queen of settling for a really long time. Well, I was not anymore, girl. Like I had a different crown up. I have it exactly. And a different crowd. Yes. Because who you surround yourself matters for the kinds of choices that you're willing to make as well. It's true. Even if you're feeling weak in those moments, it's funny because I'll call Maggie sometimes and she'll be like, no, Misty, like I'm a dog. No, Misty, no. Like there's your allergy, like, you're not, no. If that was here, this is where we are now. Like you're not, no. Right. It's hilarious. I feel chastised, but also in a good way.
SPEAKER_01Well, sometimes that's what makes a good friend though. It's being honest.
SPEAKER_00Like snap out of it. Yes. Like, don't do dumb shit. Right. Yeah. Like, hello. Do you forget you're a quaint? That's a real friend. Yes, I agree. I I think that in relationships, um, the people who surround themselves with those that only say all the positive things, I don't really believe those are true friendships or relationships, because if you can't say the hard things to somebody and help them grow as a person, then you're only around them to get something out of them, not really to like grow each other. And I feel like you create this false reality. You're a fan, not a friend. Yeah, that's a great way to put it. Yeah. That's a great way to put it. I haven't thought about it that way, but that is that's pretty perfect. I know we totally went sideways. But so you you talk about this has given you eternal purpose. Yes. And which is so interesting. Yes. Because you said before you're kind of just humdrum. Earlier you said just going through life. Yeah. And you're really just happy, like doing the day, trying to be a good person. Just doing the damn thing. But and you obviously had a little bit of purpose because you were creating these charity events. So um, but this gave you what you call eternal purpose, which is very powerful. Very talk to the listeners about that.
SPEAKER_01Well, I've always wondered, like, why am I here? Yeah. And I've often sometimes thought, like, maybe I was born at the wrong time period, the wrong era. Maybe I was like in the 1920s or something. Yeah. Uh, but so I looked at this and I was actually on another podcast, and we were talking about just purpose. And I realized at that moment what my eternal purpose is, why I'm here. And it's to help as many people as I can, as much as I can, and to empower those who need it. And I look back at my life, and it's kind of a funny short story, but I gave a kid a bloody nose in first grade. Love it. For picking on the new guy that came to school. So I've always been that protector.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_01I've always been that person. And I've always also been that person to help people. I just have always wanted to help people. So I look at your eternal purpose as just look at who you were as a young girl inside. Yes. And that's really who you are now. Because I know we talked about this protecting that little girl inside, right? Yes. And almost putting her in a time capsule and letting her come out again only when your environment allows. And I think it's important for us to really know why we are here. Yes. Because I think when you know why you're here, your eternal purpose, it does empower you. It actually has an effect on you too, because you just stand up differently. Absolutely you do things differently, and you do things more with purpose. And you keep that in the back of your mind, like this is who I am. And you don't waver from that. It's so interesting.
SPEAKER_00I love the bloody nose story. We talked about that at Coffee too. Oh yeah, we did. Yeah, it's so interesting to me because I always knew I wanted to do something with what I went through. And 10, 15 years ago, I was writing more like a memoir, an autobiography, but it was so detailed about the pain and the trauma that I'd been through. I think same way you talked about it. I think I feel like I needed to just get it out because so many people wouldn't let me talk about it. Everyone wanted me to be quiet.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00My even when it happened, they're like, no, you can't tell anybody. Like the and and no, they're not going to be punished for what they did. And that's horrible. So I like carried it in. But then I started thinking about it and I was like, I don't want people to associate me with just this, right? Like, what did I do with it though? Like, what did I and I wasn't sure what that looked like yet. So it took me a while to figure out what that is, but I did exactly what you're talking about. Everything I built is to help other people who went through really hard shit figure out how to take that shit and turn it into something amazing. Yes. Look at what it built in you, and now how are you gonna unleash it? Absolutely. How are you gonna use it to be the best person, the best professional, the most successful, the fullest version of you that you were always called, God has always called you to be. How do you get there? And that's that's what I worked on, and that's what I'm doing now. And now I know my eternal purpose as well. Didn't know it till a couple of years ago. My eternal purpose is to help people who have been through trauma, adversity, see what those things built in them, not what took, not what was taken away, and helping them understand how to get past the thoughts in their mind and how to get past the people in their circle, how to grow into a new circle, how to use those skills and those gifts to succeed in life and in business so they can break generational cycles and start a whole new, better pattern for generations to come.
SPEAKER_01And that empowers you because every day it's like that's what I'm here for. A hundred percent. It's kind of like, what is my job? Yes, I have one job that's I'm gonna go do it.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I'm gonna help other people know that you are not broken. Right. You're not broken, right? You were being built.
SPEAKER_01And that's really you on an average day, too. Whether you're at a grocery store and you see someone like you just help people. Yes. You just want to make people feel better.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I like they're not alone. It's so beautiful though when you finally figure it out and you like focus all your light into this one thing. Yep. I mean, to the fact that I gave up my j job, like I quit my job, which I'm gonna talk about terrified, to go all in on this because I believe it so much. Like this is what I literally believe God put me on the earth to do. I'm almost 50 years old. Took me a while to figure it out. Right. But who says that it's ever too late to start something that's important? And if I help one person, that's worth it. Change one man, change the universe. Absolutely. Super important. The butterfly effect, that shit's real. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I believe that. It's so true. That movie freaks me out. It does freak me out too. I was like, that's like literally the malt that was like the multiverse before people even knew the multiverse was a thing before the comics, like Marvel put it in. Right. Yeah, again, I digress. But yeah, that was insane. I'm now I need to watch it again because I need to be terrified a little bit. So, what do you know about yourself today that you didn't know about yourself before?
SPEAKER_01I know that I have an eternal purpose. I know that being strong and a big personality isn't a bad thing. Yes. Even different isn't a bad thing. Yes. Not going with the crowd is not a bad thing. Um and I've always believed that standing up for yourself is not a bad thing, but I think people are afraid to be loud. It's okay to be loud. It's okay to speak your mind, and that's how you feel. Yes. Not everyone has to agree with you, but just think of all the people that if you hadn't have been loud with your story, how many people wouldn't be helped? Yes. So we're so many people, you know, kind of like when you're a kid and your parents are like, don't touch, don't talk. Yes. You know, don't don't do this. You're always you know, told don't stop. Don't stop and don't listen to the ones that say don't.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Do it because other people aren't doing it.
SPEAKER_00I really appreciate what you're saying because we are coached as children and even as adults. And there's another layer of it, maybe more so in the past, but definitely still exist. As a woman, it's even harder to be loud because those things are labeled as aggressive.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_00Uh bitchy. Yes. Right? Uh know your place. Yeah. Yeah. It so, and I also agree, it's okay to be weird. Like, I I very much beat to my own drum. Like, I just you're either gonna like it or not, or be like, what the hell is wrong with that girl over there? Right. So you but you're either my tribe or you're not my tribe. Right. Like, not everyone needs to like me or want to be around me because the right people will be called into my life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I don't need to be important to the to the people who don't fit into my mission or what I'm trying to do or who I am. Correct. So I think more more people need to be told it's okay to stand up. It's okay to say what you have to say. Yes. Learning how to say it in a way where people listen as opposed to they want to punch you is is a whole correct. That's a skill. Right. That you need to work on. The finesse. Yes. All about the finesse. It is all about the finesse. Yes. Yeah. Learn how to say the things in a way that get people's attention and don't just rub them the wrong way.
SPEAKER_01Of course.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Although sometimes sometimes you gotta rub them the wrong way. I like being a disruptor. Yeah, it's like some people do it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, sometimes you have to.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00But then also you want people to listen and do the things. Of course. So there's like this. That balance. Yes. And that's hard. It is. That's really hard to figure out.
SPEAKER_01Harder for some people. Yeah, true. It's easier for those that are in tune with that and are more cognizant and say, okay. Very true. Let me go upon this a little differently.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Not everybody, um, not everybody can be um oh, I can't think of his damn name. Now I'm not gonna say it because I'm just gonna embarrass myself. I'm not gonna say it. We're just gonna move on. It's not Spider-Man.
unknownNo, it's not.
SPEAKER_00No, but I do love comics. Um, so you don't want people to feel sorry for you. We just talked a lot about you want them to feel empowered. Yes. And so speak to the person who's feeling more like a victim and not like a victor right now. Speak directly to that person.
SPEAKER_01Well, this is true of really anyone that is going through anything. I always, and I practice this myself, I always look at the positive things in my life. I look at the positive events, I look at the great people I have in my life, how blessed I am, not how cursed I am for this one circumstance. And I look at all the things that I've gone through before. And if God didn't intend me to do more, that would have been the end of my story. Yeah. And on a day when you feel that everything's against you, you gotta just find that one. It's kind of like, you know, when the fall comes and you know, covers all the grass up, and then winter comes, and then spring comes and you see that one leaf. Yes. Just that one green leaf coming you know from the snow. But you're like, spring's coming. There's hope. Yes. You always have to have hope. And when you don't have hope, then really just look at all the positives that have happened in your life. And when you wanted to give up before, look at what happened. You know, your life's not over. There's so much life ahead of you. And you know, I told my sister this one time, she was going through something, and I told her, right on the mirror, I matter. Oh, I love that. Just write it on the mirror. So every day when you get ready, you're telling yourself that you matter. There's something in your future that's gonna matter to someone else too. And it's sometimes when we go through those difficult times, uh again, we grow, our minds think the bumper. It pushes you in a different direction. But you're just being pushed in a different direction right now. So, what direction do you want to go in? What do you want to do that will impact other people? Take what whatever you're going through and help someone else.
SPEAKER_00So beautifully said. It's so interesting. The way we speak to ourselves matters. And people we don't give that enough credit and we don't give it enough clout. So the way you speak to yourself and then who you surround yourself with, who you choose to have in your life, are like the two most important things that will affect the trajectory of your life. Absolutely. You talk crappy about yourself, you believe you don't deserve things, you attract opportunities to prove that that's true.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that to be hurt, abused, abandoned, whatever those look like, not get the not get the job, although sometimes you don't get it and you weren't supposed to. And then the people that you surround yourself with, if they're all complaining all the time, if they're always negative, if they're always the things don't work out for me, like you mentioned earlier.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_00This is happening to me, not for me. Right. You take on those habits, those mentalities, and add that to the fuel that you're already saying these things to yourself. Yeah, it's funny. This is so true, and I know you love sayings. The fastest way to become a millionaire is to hang out with millionaires. Right. Because they'll change your entire attitude about how you move through life. How do you attack and take opportunities? Do you dive or do you stay on the boat? Like those things matter.
SPEAKER_01Energy is a real thing. Oh, manifesting is a real thing. Agree. I mean, how many times have you been in front of someone and you're like, oh my gosh, this person's amazing. Yes. But then you have those people that you're like, oh my gosh, this person's depleting my energy. Yeah. I need to like move away.
SPEAKER_00I've literally moved in events, like away from people. They haven't even said a word. Yes. I can just feel it coming off. I'm like, I can't even, you're gonna suck all my joy. Yeah, like in my light. That battery. It's the battery. That battery's gonna be bad. Exactly. They better charge that bitch.
SPEAKER_01Like I just beacon over here.
SPEAKER_00Exactly, exactly. Beacon? Beacon. Yeah, no, I completely agree. Yeah, it's so terrifying. I think if nothing else, that people can understand that our thoughts control our feelings, and our feelings control the way we move through the world, the choices that we make. And those choices have external consequences. So, because what you put out is what you get back. So the more you can control how you think, the better you will feel. Yes. And when you feel good, you make decisions that move you in a direction that you actually want to go, and the world responds in kind. Yes. So it really all starts up here. Absolutely. It does. No, it does. And that's really hard for some people. But you can train your brain. So they need to learn how to do it. Manifest, pray. Yes. Prayer. Have God in your life. God is good.
SPEAKER_01God is very good. Yeah. And my guardian angel. Yeah. I think I have two. Do you? I think I do. In some cases, I really do.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I hope you do. I mean, you probably if you probably know if you do. I feel like you know these things. Yeah. I feel like my dad is one.
SPEAKER_01Oh, for sure. Yeah. I think my sister, Lisa, who passed, is is one of mine.
SPEAKER_00That'd be beautiful. Mine, I would say, is my grandma Wyneman, who was the first person to tell me that I didn't have to be a victim of my circumstances, that I could have whatever life I wanted, also introduced me to God and Jesus and like Jesus in my heart. And my second one's definitely my dad, like who passed away.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I feel him all the time. That's good. Yeah, he's amazing.
SPEAKER_01Well, and everyone does have a choice. Talking about choices. You know, everyone has a choice. I even told the monster that tried to kill me. I said, You had a choice that day, just like anyone else. You have a choice, you know, to that person out there having a bad day. You have a choice. You can sleep it away or you can get up and go do something about it. Yeah. Go for a walk. Go for a walk. Take a shower. Go get your nails done.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Read a book.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Take it. Call a friend. Yeah. Something.
SPEAKER_01And if you don't have a friend, if you don't have a lot of friends, make a friend.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I mean I agree. It is harder when you get older to make friends, I have to say. I need to take a class in this. Although we seem to hit it off. I mean, it's a wonderful thing. Yeah, I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_01I think you can teach the class. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's called just sit there and have people talk to you. I appreciate that very much. So, okay, so who is the people r listening that you want to reach the most?
SPEAKER_01I think anyone that has had difficulties in their life that they don't really quite know what to do with. Um, for those who are stuck in the past and know that there's an issue but don't really know how to solve it. Um, I think that it's for those people that uh are listening that you know just have sometimes more bad days than good days and just don't know what to do. Like how do I start? Write it down. Write yourself a a bullet point, you know, fact sheet. What are you feeling? Put it all on paper. You know, if something's happened to you and you wish that you could tell that person off, then write that letter to them and read it out loud. Yes. You know, if someone passed away that did something to you, write it down. Say it out loud. You know, I think writing is a powerful thing. Agree. Um, listen to songs, you know. Sing 'em. Yes. Dance around like a dance around. Or, you know, if it's a sad song, then cry. Yes. You know, but get that out. Get whatever you need to out. Um, but don't keep it in because everyone has a purpose here. You just have to figure it out. Yeah. You know. And, you know, after all of this was done, my um attorney Barry Cohen, who has unfortunately passed, but um, he had me go to a therapist just because he's like, I I want you to go, you know. Um I think it'll be good. So I did. And it was interesting because um, you know, after everything was said and done, my therapist would say, So, like, you know, where do you get your resilience? Where do you, you know, I talked to so many people and they don't get they don't have will. And I said, It's something you're born with. Everyone has it. Because if you're still here today, you have will, right? But after everything was done, um, she's like, you know, how are you feeling? And I said, you know, I feel like I'm going back to that summer cottage that's been closed down for the winter. Yeah. And I open the shades and the windows and the drapery is, you know, blowing in the wind, and I'm taking the sheets off, and you see all the dust swirling and the sunlights, you know, going through that thick dust. Yeah. And I feel like I'm waking up again. You know, that's how I felt after everything had been said and done. So beautiful. And, you know, I really believe that um when you go through stuff, it's okay to cry, it's okay to be sad, it's okay to not have a perfect day, it's okay not to want to talk about it. But eventually you have to. Eventually you have to just make yourself take those steps. And, you know, I I also told my therapist, I said, you know, people go through a lot of different things, good and bad. That label baggage. I hate that word baggage because people feel so heavy. Yes. Like, oh, she has baggage or he has baggage, and it's just a negative connotation. But I think it's really healthy and it's okay to say, you know what, this really bad thing happened, but not to put the whole bad thing in your bag, but the lesson. What did you get from it? Yes. And put it in what I call an emotional backpack. So that way it's like, and you were talking about this is who I am. Embrace who you are. It's okay if you have some negative things in there. We're human. Things happen. If if negative things didn't happen, you wouldn't appreciate the good things. I agree. Right? So put the good and the bad in your backpack. But when you don't, go ahead. You want to sneeze?
SPEAKER_00I don't know what's happening.
SPEAKER_01Bless you. But that's okay.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I like to breathe in something. Yeah, this has not happened to me before. I don't know what's going on. I need water. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm so sorry, you were like on a roll too.
SPEAKER_01That's okay. I know it's in my head.
SPEAKER_00I was literally like, I'm gonna die.
SPEAKER_01Don't die. We need to appreciate that. There's at least three more podcasts in the open.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00I was like, I was like, I seriously don't know what's Happening. It's like I breathed in something that was in the air. Okay.
SPEAKER_01I think I'm good. Yeah. No, so but the emotional backpack, it's you know, it's really acknowledging the good and the bad, and that's what makes you who you are. Yes. Right? I agree. And all of the good and bad mixed together is called life. Yes. You're living. Yes. If you don't go through the bad and you don't go through the good, you're not living. You're gonna make mistakes. Things are gonna happen to you. Good things are gonna happen to you. You know, but don't think that you deserve the bad and deserve the good. It just happens that way because that's life. Yes.
SPEAKER_00We attach so much emotion to circumstances. But things just are what they are. We give it power by putting emotion behind it. 100%.
SPEAKER_01Yes. So embrace who you are. Wear that backpack proud. You know, I always say, you know, everyone has scars. Yes. There's a story behind all of them. Some aren't as great in the way of like, yeah, I wish it didn't happen, but I'm proud that it happened. I got through it.
SPEAKER_00Yes. I'm a victor. Here we are standing. Right. Resilient. You're a victor. I am a victor. Absolutely. I will own that title all day. Absolutely. Yeah. So uh I have three signature questions that I ask every single guest at the end. Okay. And the first one is what does the unbreakable advantage mean to you?
SPEAKER_01I think the unbreakable advantage means that in experience there's power.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_01And if you use that power to do great things to share that power, almost like a superpower. Yes. Like superheroes we talked about briefly. If you use that power from experience as a gift to gift to other people, that's what that means to me. Beautiful. It's taking that experience and kind of opening that box and saying take from it what you will. That's my box. Beautiful. Some people will take more from it, some people will just look at it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. The ones who still want to live in that non-Victor space, right? Will just peek, maybe rummage around. Yeah. But they don't really take what it is that you're trying to give the world. But that's everybody's choice, right? Again, it goes back to what you said, the will. Yes. You know, I agree that if you have some sort of will if you're still standing here today. Absolutely. So when you lose will, life is over for you. And sometimes that's self-inflicted, unfortunately. Which is a terrifying thing to me. I actually had a friend that took her own life when um I was in my twenties and it was just atrocious. Like just seeing what her family went through, what her children went through. It was just so it's there's always there's always light on the other side of the tunnel. Yes. It's just sometimes the tunnel is long. Oh yeah. But just keep walking. Oh yeah. You're gonna get to the end. Yeah. Because life is ups and downs, ups and downs for sure. Absolutely. So what did you have to let go of to become who you are today?
SPEAKER_01I think I don't want to say hang-ups, but not carrying as much of what people expected of me. You know, I think that you know, people always want to place you in the category that they want to put you in. Yes. And it's okay to say, no, I don't fit in that category. Yes. This is who I really am. And even if they say it is, really? I think that's what my friends actually like about me. That I actually that I actually don't agree with everything. Yes. Ask Heidi, she'll tell the the honest answer. But you know, I think that that's uh that's important. It's really important.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I love that too because I've said a few different times, so many people have opinions about what our lives should look like. And it's so easy to allow people to steer your ship. Yeah. Because you want to fit in. Right. You want to be loved, you want to be liked, you want to be admired, right? Because we're trained that that's that's your value and your worth is the more people like you, the more valuable you are. And that's again a bullshit lie that we've been handed since we were young. It does nothing to do with it. Right. So I think that's an amazing thing to let go of is letting other people take your authenticity and stifle it.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Don't let people shrink you.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Don't shrink. That's right. Be big. No shrink wrap, shrink wrap in this big. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. If that room's too small for you, go to another room.
SPEAKER_00Yes, that that's great advice. Go to another room. Yeah, I I like that a lot. People need to hear that more often. All right, last question. Okay. What do you have to let go of today to be who you want to be tomorrow?
SPEAKER_01Limits. I think we all put limits on ourselves. Even the most successful people, it's human nature. Yes, it is. And uh, you know, any type of self-doubt or limitation you just have to let go of that and just manifest it. I know that action, you know, has to go with manifesting, but I think no matter how big the room is, or how small we feel, how big we feel, how successful we are, how much growth we have to do. Um, you know, I think it's important just to always um, you know, keep telling ourselves that just one day at a time. Just it's okay if you don't do it in five days, five years. Don't compare yourself to other people. That's another one.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I mean, millionaires even compare themselves to other millionaires.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01Or billionaires.
SPEAKER_00But your journey's your journey. Yes. And no one arrives at the same time. Nope. And they don't arrive at the same place because they weren't meant to. Right. I do definitely agree that there has to be action behind your manifestations. Yes. But you have to first believe it's possible. Yes. And even if you don't believe it at first, the more you tell yourself you believe it, you'll start to believe it. True. And that's very important to me. I really do resonate with everything that you just said. I talked a lot before about how I felt I knew I could get higher or get to a space that people in my family hadn't gotten to before. But even I thought my ceiling stopped at floor four when all of a sudden I'm at floor six, and I was like, holy shit, didn't even know floor six existed for me. Right. So now I do my very best, and sometimes it's a battle in my mind. I do my very best to not put limitations on what I'm possible, what's possible for me. I just keep moving, and then I just tell God and the universe, I will take whatever overflow and whatever abundance, and I will treat it with the respect and kindness, and I will use it for good. Yes. Not for selfishness.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. Yes.
SPEAKER_00It's that gift. It's a gift. Yes. Life is a gift. And we get one. This is the vessel we get, and we got to do the best that we can with it.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00For us and for others.
SPEAKER_01You're human.
SPEAKER_00Yes, which is terrifying. And also exhilarating at the same time. It's true. It's a lot of responsibility. So you got to do the best you can with what you want to do. It's tough being us. It is tough being us. So, Heidi, thank you so much for being here today. Thank you for having me. I loved it. Every I loved it too. Anything I can do to help support you. Where can the listeners find you? How can they support your mission?
SPEAKER_01I have a Facebook page, Heidi Damon Victor. And that would probably be the best way. Um you can private message me. You can, you know, like my page. I haven't posted as much as I probably should. Um, but that's probably the best way. I used to have a P.O. box that actually got utilized. I got a lot of letters.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because people like to write. Yes. I still have those letters.
SPEAKER_00I never threw them away. Love that. So anyone listening today who wrote Heidi a letter, she still has it. I do. And that's amazing. I do still have it. People like to know that their words matter. They do matter. Their voice matters. Absolutely, they do. Probably in some beautiful box.
SPEAKER_01Actually, it is in a box. I knew it. Yes. And as a matter of fact, I helped uh this girl, her dad called saying something horrible had happened to her. Um she had been drugged. Um, she was raped by multiple people. She dropped out of college, and I talked to her. And, you know, this is kind of a segue of what you were talking about. Uh, she said, you know, I wish that um I could do what you did. You faced your attacker. I didn't get to. I said, but that's where you're wrong. I said, I want you to write down everything that you are thinking. And you write down all the things you want to say if they were here. And I said, you go get your nails done, take a shower, get dressed, put on an outfit that you feel confident in, and you pick a tree or a piece of furniture or whatever you want to talk in front of, and you speak that out loud. That's right. I don't care if it's 15 octaves higher than your regular voice or whispering. I said, but get that out. She's now married, two kids, and her mom, to your comment, her mom and her made Christmas cookies, the really good almond powdered ones, buttery ones. Yes. And they put them in a blue box, and her mom wrote a note saying thank you, you know, for helping her. And I still have the box on my dresser at home with the note inside, and even the wax paper that the cookies were in. I wish the cookies were still there, but I ate all of them, I think in two sittings. But um, but you're right, words do matter, and how you affect people is so much greater than you'll ever know. That's right. Sometimes you'll never know.
SPEAKER_00Um, but that's important. It is. So for everybody listening out here again today, words matter, and what you say matters, good and bad. Yeah. We have a lot of power in the way that we talk to each other, the way we show up in the world. So do something great today. Uh thank you so much for listening. Thank you again, Heidi, for being here. This is great. Can't wait for this to come out. And we're gonna hang out soon. We are awesome, awesome.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00Thank you.
